THE PRESSURE FROM AFRICAN PARENTS TO GET MARRIED
Isn’t it amazing how African Parents can like to stress over marriage? I wrote about this before but I thought to address this issue again!
Its tiring… it really is! My friend Dayo is 36. A dashing young man, a Development Head in one of the new generation banks, he has all the money he could possibly wish for. Alas! He is unmarried. His parents make life a living hell for him, especially as he is the firstborn. His coworkers tell him to marry at the slightest opportunity so that, according to them, he will put on some weight.
“Dayo, Dayo, Dayo! How many times did I call you?” His father queried him.
“Three times, Dad. Kilo tunde”
“Why have you not yet gotten married? Are you not rich enough to feed a woman?”
“I don’t know, Dad.” Dayo replied.
“Or is it that you have sold your manhood to gain financial recognition?” Dayo’s father taunted him.
Dayo was very upset, but out of custom, remained silent. His father went on and on about how he expected to see his grandchildren before he dies.
Dayo’s parents made sure he got married that same year to a lady that wasn’t his choice and sadly the union didn’t last long. They divorced 2 years later.
He’s back to being single.
This scenario is not uncommon in our society. True, the ladies have it tougher than the men at a younger age, but men above the age of 30 who are doing well financially also face pressure from their family members and friends. What could be the reason for this? A few will be discussed below.
These are a few of the reasons why parents in African societies pressure their children to get married. Parents, do take it easy on us, eh? We have enough on our plates trying to grow up and become responsible members of the society. We do not need added wahala from y’all!
I’d say, take your time and don’t be pressured into getting married when you are not emotionally ready even if you are financially ready.
Xoxo… Lush
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Isn’t it amazing how African Parents can like to stress over marriage? I wrote about this before but I thought to address this issue again!
Its tiring… it really is! My friend Dayo is 36. A dashing young man, a Development Head in one of the new generation banks, he has all the money he could possibly wish for. Alas! He is unmarried. His parents make life a living hell for him, especially as he is the firstborn. His coworkers tell him to marry at the slightest opportunity so that, according to them, he will put on some weight.
“Dayo, Dayo, Dayo! How many times did I call you?” His father queried him.
“Three times, Dad. Kilo tunde”
“Why have you not yet gotten married? Are you not rich enough to feed a woman?”
“I don’t know, Dad.” Dayo replied.
“Or is it that you have sold your manhood to gain financial recognition?” Dayo’s father taunted him.
Dayo was very upset, but out of custom, remained silent. His father went on and on about how he expected to see his grandchildren before he dies.
Dayo’s parents made sure he got married that same year to a lady that wasn’t his choice and sadly the union didn’t last long. They divorced 2 years later.
He’s back to being single.
This scenario is not uncommon in our society. True, the ladies have it tougher than the men at a younger age, but men above the age of 30 who are doing well financially also face pressure from their family members and friends. What could be the reason for this? A few will be discussed below.
- Sex: Most people who are sexually active want to get married so that they can have sex legally under an air of respectability. Men do not have it as bad as the ladies, but with religion that preaches the sinfulness of premarital sex, it follows that most people would want to salve their conscience by having sex within the confines of a marriage.
- Security: Marriage does provide security, at least for women. The social, financial and material security are very real and this makes many parents wish to see their daughters get married.
- Grandchildren: It is a biological drive within the human race to reproduce its kind. This is the major reason why many parents put pressure on their children to get married.
- Need for acceptance: Acceptance is a basic human need. No parent wishes to feel like an outcast in the circle of their acquaintances so they pile the pressure on their children to marry so that they can join the grandparents
These are a few of the reasons why parents in African societies pressure their children to get married. Parents, do take it easy on us, eh? We have enough on our plates trying to grow up and become responsible members of the society. We do not need added wahala from y’all!
I’d say, take your time and don’t be pressured into getting married when you are not emotionally ready even if you are financially ready.
Xoxo… Lush
