All that Glitters isn't Gold

Demilade was unhappy.   She had a husband who, in her friends’ opinion was a bum.  Her best friend, Jola would tell her of how she should stop helping him financially as he was spending all her money on women and drugs.  Her husband was in between jobs and often asked her for money.  But Demilade was confused.  She was kindhearted and could not imagine being firm with her husband.  Oh dear, what was she going to do?

“Dear, I need to go for a job interview in two days’ time.”

“What interview?” Demi asked brusquely.

“An interview with ARM life.”
“Where exactly  is the interview taking place?” she asked, mentally picturing to herself just how much she would have to spend on his transport fare.

“Lekki phase one.” They lived in Iju.

“Man, that’s some far place!” Demi exclaimed.

“And I know you are expecting me to give you the transport fare, right?”

“Yes, please.”

“OK.” Demi sighed as she counted out some money and gave him.  He was happy and asked her to pray for him that all would turn out well during the interview.

Two days’ later, she was seated with her best friend Jola over a cup of coffee.  Jola casually asked Demi about her husband and she told her that he was at an interview.

“Did you give him transport fare?”

“What will a sister do for a man in need?” Demi responded.

“Nonsense! How on earth do you expect him to man up and become the head of the family when you give him money?”

“Well…”

“Listen, I don’t take shit from my husband and that is why he respects me.  Were I in your shoes, I’d have left that good-for-nothing man that calls himself your husband.  The effrontery of the whole thing!” Jola hissed.

Demi went away depressed.  She had already refused to give her husband her car to drive, saying that it needed repairs.  This was with the advice of Jola, who felt she was spoiling her husband. Which other punitive measure was she supposed to take against her beloved husband?

It was late.  Her husband was yet to return.  Annoyance surged within her.  What was that good-for-nothing man of hers up to this time around? How long does it take for one to return from an interview?  She decided to go to her friend’s house and vent over a much-needed cup of cocoa.  She got into her car and drove down to Jola’s place.

When she got there, she alighted from her car and went to the door.  She knocked on the door with brass door knocker but there was no reply. Demi went to the window to check on her friend.  What she saw surprised her.

“Foolish woman, how dare you look thru my phone?” Jola’s husband thundered as he cracked a hot slap across her face.

“I didn’t look thru your phone.  I only picked the call that came thru on it.”

“And why is my dinner not yet ready?” he asked as he kicked her.

“I’m sorry!” Jola said in between sobs.  “It was because my friend Demi came over.  I lost track of time.”

“What do you see in that good-for-nothing friend of yours?” her husband asked sarcastically.  “Look, I never want you to mention her name in this house again.  Find a way of cutting her out of your life, do you hear me?”

“Yes, my husband. I will do as you say.”

“Now go and prepare my dinner for me!”

Demi went away deep in thought.  She could hardly believe her eyes.  When she got home, she met her husband in the doorway.

“Honey, I got the job!”

“You did?” she asked excitedly.

“Oh yes, I did. And I came back late because I had to buy some gifts for you to celebrate and as a way of saying thank you for your patience.  I love you very much, Demi!

Tears welled up in her eyes.  She could barely prevent the tears from spilling onto her cheeks.  She whispered huskily, “I love you too, my Dear!”

“Why are you crying?” her husband asked with concern.  “Are you not happy that I’ve gotten a job?”

“I am, trust me, I am.  I just feel overwhelmed.”

“Don’t be.”

Later that night, as Demi lay beside her husband, she thought about the events that happened during the day.  She would have lost her marriage if not for God’s timely intervention in her life.  Imagine, she was heeding Jola’s advice while she couldn’t even hold the fort in her own marriage!  Na wa oh.  Her husband truly did not deserve her.  How could she make it up to him? She wondered.

The story illustrated above tells us of the need to stop envying other women’s marriages.  Most of the women we envy do not have it as rosy as we do.  Some have to bear with philandering husbands, abusive men, drug addicts and so on.  Others are just good at exaggerating the rosiness of their marriages while dying silently inside it.  The grass always appears greener on the other side of the fence but it may just be a mirage, an optical illusion.

Now that we know, we would do well to avoid heeding advice that is likely to break up our marriages.  Marriage is a lifelong union we have to work at.  Try to be supportive to your spouse and always remember the wisdom in giving him the benefit of the doubt!

Till next time.... xoxo .. Lush