Girl 1: I can’t believe that he cheated on me!
Girl 2: He has been cheating on you for a very long time now. I’m surprised you didn’t realize that.
Girl 3: Don’t take it to heart dear. You need to find a man who will appreciate you and not cheat on you. Maybe I should link you up with Jake, he’s a great guy.
Girl 1: This is the fourth guy who has cheated on me in a row! All men are cheats.
That's why I decided to write about this...
Infidelity in a relationship can be very painful. It is one of the worst things that can befall a woman in a committed relationship, as it sure does not feel good to be taken for a fool, on a ride. Now, you have been cheated on. Your emotional response can be one of pain, hurt, anger… The list is endless. How do you get past the pain and move on to the next part of your life? Do read on.
Please Don’t blame yourself.
It is easy to blame yourself when you find out that your man is cheating on you. The man in question could have broken up with you instead of cheating on you. The fact that he cheated on you instead of ending the relationship shows that he has inner struggles he is going through he feels himself unable to cope with effectively, hence the cheating. He didn’t bring up problems with the relationship because to him, there were none. If he had, he should have brought them up so that both of you can work on them instead of cheating on you. Don’t listen to his rationalizations and justifications of his wrongdoing.
Don’t fight the other woman.
Ok, you don’t blame yourself or your man for cheating on you. But there’s still a need within you to blame someone. Who do you blame? The other woman, maybe? Why do you feel a need to fight the other woman? This is because you’ve been sold on the false belief that a man has no self-control when matters of sex are involved. You also find it easier to believe that it’s her fault instead of admitting to yourself that the man you’re with is treating you shabbily. And last of all, you feel it’s a lot safer to hurl all your negative emotions at her than face your man. But you need to watch out! The other woman may not even have known of your existence or she may even be more dangerous than you!
Don’t pretend the affair did not happen.
There are some cases where the main woman really does not care about her partner’s affair, or so she thinks. The fact is that if you see cheating as wrong, and lack of confronting him about his lack of honesty with you tends to undermine relationships rather than foster healthy, stable ones. What if your partner finds out you knew all along? Won’t that be tantamount to giving him a free pass to treat you shabbily? Also think about all the energy both of you are expending on pretending the other woman does not exist. Certainly not good for your relationship.
Don’t make excuses for him.
In fact, Don't ever make excuses for any man. Just like I said in Don’t blame yourself, the man in question should have brought up whatever issues he had with the relationship with you instead of acting out by cheating on you. Don’t make excuses for him that if I were more… or less… he wouldn’t have cheated on me. Men still cheat on even the most perfect women, so it’s not all about you, it’s mostly about him. He ought to know that if the relationship is undergoing issues, cheating will not solve them but only complicate matters.
Don’t be bitter.
It is not a wise decision to think about leaving your partner the very moment you find out he’s been cheating on you. Should you leave anyway if you decide the humiliation and emotional pain was too intense for you to handle, you would do wise to not be bitter. Bitterness and vindictiveness is not good for the health and if you are religious, will not earn you favour in the sight of whichever deity you believe in. Also don’t jump into a new relationship because you are feeling lonely. You may land in the arms of an even worse cheat than your previous partner.
These are five things you should not do if your man cheats on you. It is painful, I know but if you find that this list is not working and you are consumed with thoughts of revenge and/or suicide, I suggest that you speak with a counselor or a mental health practitioner ASAP.
Till Next Time....
Enjoy your weekend
PS: The winner of this month's Giveaway is Abiodun. I've contacted Abiodun and paid his Iroko subscription for one year! Thanks to everyone that participated.
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xoxo.... Lush
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