Debunking Some Myths About Marriage

There are certain things about marriage that people believe.  Whether they are true or not, most people don’t bother to investigate.  The fact is that a lie believed will continue to act as the truth. Then we start to wonder why we experience problems in our marriages and long-term relationships.  Thoughts are very powerful and the earlier we know some myths about marriage and how to debunk them, the better for us.

Some of the myths about marriage are:

• Myth: in a happy marriage, spouses don’t argue

This is a persistent myth with many individuals.  I must admit that I myself used to think in such lines too.  The fact is that we enter into marriage with differing expectations, needs and experiences from the past and our families.  Naturally, conflict is bound to ensue.  The key  is not to see your spouse as your opponent whenever conflict breaks out, but as a team member with whom you go through life together.

• Myth: sex and passion inevitably wanes in a monogamous marriage.

Many men believe in this myth, this is why they cheat rather than seek to spice up their sex life. The fact is that the sexual excitement in a marriage can be kept up over the years as you get to know each other’s bodies, likes and preferences in the bedroom.  Sex with someone who knows you intimately can be deep and intensely satisfying.  The important thing is to create a loving compassionate bond with your partner outside the bedroom.  This will extend to your sex life.

• Myth: Having children brings spouses closer.

This is one of the reasons many childless women fight tooth and nail to bear children.  It is true that having children can deepen the intimacy in a marriage, but children per se do not bring a couple closer.  For instance, many couples disagree on parenting styles. It is possible to get jealous when a child prefers one parent to the other.  I have seen women who think they can make their husband love them more if only they have a child (usually male) for him.  It hardly ever works.

Marriage, contrary to what many confirmed bachelors seem to think, is not just a piece of paper.  The actual social, physical and psychological benefits of marriage are enormous.  This is because social scientists have shown that healthy and satisfying marriages confer upon the partners longer life, more wealth, faster recovery from illness and stronger social networks.  Debunk myths about marriage to live a longer and more satisfying life.