Are you the Spouse with a Higher Sex Drive?

We’ve all heard of sexual compatibility in a marriage. It is actually very important, as many couples divorce because of sex-related problems. Usually, the man is the partner with the higher sex drive, but it is not uncommon to have wives who have higher sex drives than their husbands. What can you do if you are the spouse with the higher sex drive and your partner’s rejection of your advances makes you feel like you are a sex maniac? Read on.

Don’t feel insulted!
It’s easy to feel bad and take it personally if your partner’s sex drive is lower than yours. You might begin to wonder if your spouse truly loves you and finds you sexually attractive. This is common with women who have already had children and whose bodies aren’t quite as perky as before. Realize that low sex drive is often physiological in origin and may have little or nothing to do with you.

Pay attention to the friendship element of your marriage.
If you are the man with the higher sex drive, it will help if you pay attention to the friendship element of your marriage. Women need to feel affectionate and emotionally connected with you before they can feel sexually aroused and willing to engage in sex. Ask her about her day, write her love poems, render small acts of service and be nice to her. She is likely to come around.

If you are the woman with a higher sex drive and your husband has been rejecting your sexual advances, ask yourself if you dominate your husband outside the bedroom. If you are too aggressive towards your husband, he might give in to your demands, but become passive aggressive by refusing to make love to you. This is because aggressive and domineering women turn off most men.

Respect your partner’s sexual prerequisites.
It is easy for the partner with the higher sex drive to think that the other spouse is just making excuses when s/he states what must be in place before s/he can be in the mood. For instance, most women feel more sexually aroused at night while men feel aroused in the morning. Then the spouse may want the kids to be asleep and the house spotless before s/he can be in the mood. Respect this and take this at face value. They may not just be excuses.

If all else fails, be honest with your spouse. Tell him/her that the sexual unresponsiveness on their part is making you think of all sorts of things you do not want to think of. Suggest that you both go to see either a gynecologist or a sex therapist. They are available in Nigeria.

I’m sure no one wants to have either an affair or a divorce just because his/her sex drive does not match the other partner’s own. With these suggestions, you can prevent that.

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xoxo,
Lush