How to Spot and Avoid a Narcissist!

Most ladies in the dating game have come across a narcissist, as they comprise about 5-10 percent of the general population of adults. That’s about one in 10-15 people. Yikes! Most narcissists are men, players; alpha-males etc. and they are well versed in deceiving women and people with their charm.

Just to set things straight, a narcissist is a person who has an inflated self-esteem and is cocky, manipulative and self-absorbed. It is basically vanity in human form. Most narcissists are men and their victims are often women. They cause untold pain and suffering to their victims in romantic relationships. Therefore, it is imperative that you learn how to spot and avoid being in a relationship with a narcissist.

Narcissists come on fast and furious.
Most Nigerian narcissists know that what women want to hear is marriage, so they play that line when hitting on a lady (often known as chiking). This is the guy who doesn’t even know you, but declares you as the love of his life within a few moments of meeting you and wants to settle down with you. Just as a quick way of knowing if a guy is a narcissist, (trust me, I’ve been with several of them) ask the guy subtly how many ladies he has slept with. If he says he doesn’t know or he can’t remember or gives you a number more than what you are comfortable with, run! This guy loves the ladies.

Narcissists flatter you and love an audience.
Narcissists are often charming and come across as being sincere, so sincere that if you aren’t well trained in detecting them, they fool you. I’ve been fooled many times by them, gasp!. If you are a woman who mistakes the attention of a man for love and feel that when a man is nice to you, he must be in love with you, you are more than likely to fall victim to a narcissist. Conversely, if a man is the type who needs your reassurance of his goodness and acts insecure, run! His ego just needs a boosting. It’s just like a woman who asserts that she looks ugly in a dress so that you will say she is beautiful. Vanity!

Narcissists violate personal boundaries.
If you don’t have high standards of what you are willing to tolerate and not tolerate from a man, you will attract a controlling narcissist who expects you to bow to his every whim. Your personal boundaries should be so strong that you are able to redefine a person’s role in your life if he turns out to be a cheat, addict, manipulative, liar etc. Be crystal clear on what you want in a potential partner!

Not to worry if you have ever been a narcissist’s victim. I’ve been, so you’re not alone. Don’t freak out but remember that we attract all sorts of people but we get to decide who we want in our lives and for how long.

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xoxo,
Lush