Some 40-50 years ago, it was unheard of for a couple to divorce in Nigeria. Nowadays, it is relatively common. Most o us have someone in their circle of acquaintances who is divorced or the child of a divorcee. This makes me wonder: why do marriages fail?
The commonest reasons given by couples who divorce are:
Too much argument
I once stated in a previous article that when a couple cannot agree on even the simplest of matters, it is a danger signal. If this danger signal is ignored and the couple go ahead to marry, divorce is inevitable.
Infidelity.
Cheating on the part of one or both partners makes the marriage break down. Fidelity is one of the expectations of marriage.
Abuse.
Physical, verbal and/or emotional abuse is a common reason why couples decide to go their separate ways. It is a sure sign that the abuser needs to take care of his/her mental health.
Lack of equality in the relationship.
Surveys have confirmed what we have long suspected: men feel threatened by their female partner’s success. At a primal level, men feel the desire to dominate, probably because of high testosterone levels. (lol!). When a woman earns more than her male partner, he subconsciously becomes scared that his lover will feel she deserves a more successful partner who is her equal. Men fear that their partner will leave them for a more successful man, just as women fear that their male partners will leave them for a more physically attractive woman. I believe this can be handled by being humble and not emasculating the man.
These are but a few of the reasons why married couples opt for divorce. It may surprise you that infidelity is not the leading cause of divorce.
How do we avoid divorce? First, by picking an emotionally and mentally stable partner. Then by having realistic expectations of marriage and our partner, we can go a long way in avoiding divorce!
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xoxo,
Lush
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