Things You Should Never Ever Say To Your Spouse

Most of us take our spouses for granted. I won’t point fingers at any sex, but the fact still remains that so many of us believe that Until death do us part is a major license for us to treat our spouses badly. Unfortunately, no-one is indispensable and as some of us sadly find out, marriages end in divorce. When a partner feels devalued, unappreciated, put down and unimportant in a marriage, the natural tendency is to seek solace by extramarital affairs or by ending the marriage.

It’s because of this I’m here to say that you’ve got to learn how to tame your sharp tongue because the damage your words cause your spouse and marriage is definitely not worth it. No matter how angry you feel at any given moment, always remember to put some kindness in your tone of voice whenever speaking to your spouse.

Here are some comments that erode your spouse’s confidence and your marriage. You’d do well to avoid saying them.

• What’s wrong with you?

Truth be told, this comment makes people feel really bad, as in bad. It’s one thing to say it jokingly, but when you use this comment when your spouse makes a mistake, it can erode the confidence and self-esteem your spouse has as well as their love for you. If you are feeling annoyed and frustrated, try saying something like this: “When you do xzy, I feel like my feelings don’t count to you. Will you try to be more careful next time?

• What were you thinking!

When your spouse comes and shares an experience s/he found embarrassing, s/he is looking for sympathy and support, not some MTN Project Fame-esque put down or criticism. Say for instance, your wife did something she shouldn’t have done. Rather than criticize her by using this remark on her, try saying: “If it were me, I’d probably have done…” This is a lot less judgmental and critical.

• You’re a fool (pathetic, stupid… etc.)

No matter what your spouse says to you in the heat of anger, you would do well to not respond in kind. Barbs sting long after the quarrel has passed and this can tear down even the strongest of marriages. Instead, say something direct like: “If you feel angry about something I did, it’s best to not push me to the wall but to speak to me with some kindness.” This will definitely call your spouse to order.

Kindness is the key in our interpersonal relationships. A person who lacks kindness will find it hard to maintain a happy marriage with his/her partner but a kind person will surely be rewarded for this personality trait.