On Letting Go!!!

My friend, Funmi was 21 when it all crashed around her.  She had been dating Henry for two years and he had already begun pressuring her to marry him.  At first, she thought it was some kind of joke: after all, didn’t Henry say he loved life to the full and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to marry any time soon?

She decided to sound her mother about her desire to marry Henry.  She could still remember the conversation with her mother.

“Mum, do you think I’m too young to get married?”

“Married, at 21? Are you out of your mind? Of course you are too young to get married! At least 24 years old.” Her mother replied.

“What if I already have a suitor?”

“Tell him to wait! You are far too young to marry.  What do you know about love and marriage anyway?”

“OK Mum.”

When Henry became persistent, she decided to tell him the truth.  She was far too young to marry.  She still wanted to flex a bit and see what life had to offer her.  If only he could be patient, maybe in the next three years, she will be ready to marry him.

“Three years is too far away for me.  My father is terminally ill and it’s his dying wish to see his grandchildren before he dies.  I guess I will have to find another woman who is ready to get married.”

“Is that the end of our relationship?” Funmi asked fearfully.

“Yes!”

Funmi could barely hold back the tears.  She pleaded and begged Henry to see reason with her, wasn’t he just 31? If he married at 34, would that be too late for him? All her pleas fell on deaf ears. Henry was resolute.

She walked around as if in a daze. Would she ever find another man to love her as deeply as Henry did? Oh well, the struggle continues!  She could barely concentrate on her final exams but somehow, she managed to pass her exams in flying colours.

When she was 25, she got married to Ade, a banker with Zenith insurance.  The wedding was a big do and she felt happy for a while.  Until she met Henry at a function. So awestruck was she that she could barely take her eyes off him.  They exchanged phone numbers and promised to keep in touch.

Now did the trouble begin. She began to think of Henry and even began to imagine it was Henry whenever she had sex with her husband. It was then she knew that she needed professional help.  She spoke with a trusted marriage counselor in her church who advised her to cut off all contact with Henry and work on solving whatever problems existed with her husband so that she never gets tempted to seek solace in Henry.

This short story illustrates the need of letting go of a past love so that we can move on and fully enjoy a relationship with whoever comes into our lives.