We need to understand that love is a learned behavior and that relationships require effort. There are a few tried and true questions we can ask ourselves, regardless of whether we are in a secure relationship or not. Reflecting on these questions will help bring the spark back into the union.
- What first attracted you to your spouse?
- When did you know your marriage could be something special?
- What did you like about how you and your partner communicated?
- What kinds of things did both of you enjoy doing as a couple?
- Did you feel any past pains or hurts began to heal by virtue of the relationship/ marriage?
- When did you feel most deeply connected to your partner?
Partaking in activities such as listening to your favorite music together, looking through your wedding album, reminiscing on the highlights of the relationship, returning to a favorite haunt you have not yet visited as a couple in a long while will help you.
Reminiscing about the good times in the relationship helps take a brick out of the wall separating you and your spouse. It can also provide you with motivation to steer your union in the right direction and bring the spark back into your union.
So long as the magic was once in your union, there is no need to go your separate ways without trying the suggestions outlined above. If they do not work, please seek marriage counseling. Do not throw away a union meant to last a lifetime just because the magic has gone out of the relationship.
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xoxo,
Lush
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