How to Forget your EX

I once wrote on how to survive a break up in April 2016. The suggestions given in the article and in this one will help you a great deal. This is because we may have ended a relationship but the chemistry from that relationship outlives it. We begin to idealize the relationship and reminisce about it, thinking that what we had is as good as it gets and that we will never find anyone else who will be able to ignite such powerful feelings as we had for our ex.

In forgetting an ex, one needs self-control and a good dose of understanding which you will glean from this article. Read on.

Think of a role model.
Science has proven that we strengthen our resolve by thinking of those we admire. If you wish to forget you ex, think of a person you particularly admire and ask yourself what s/he would do in your situation. It could be an amazon woman who was brave enough to leave a man who was making her feel unhappy and unfulfilled and is now doing great either on her own or in a new relationship. Such a thought will boost your willpower.

Find a new addiction.
The easiest way to get over an obsession is to find another one. I’m not saying you should go on the rebound o! Find a new goal or hobby such as knitting or return to an old hobby you left for the sake of the relationship. This will make you feel more fulfilled. When you find yourself fantasizing about your ex and feel like stalking him/her on Facebook, think of your new hobby. Your future self will thank you!

Avoid stress.
Stress has been shown to induce the desire to seek out a romantic reunion with an ex, while forgetting the shame and regret we felt during the breakup. This is what is referred to as contact comfort by psychologists. Avoid stress by exercising, taking a warm bath, listening to music and doing whatever soothes you.

Don’t sweat it!
The worst thing you can do is to try not to think about your ex, because when you try to forget about him/her, thoughts of them occur even more strongly to you which you will find even harder to push out of your mind. Consider if I tell you not to think of your kitchen, what comes to mind? Your kitchen, of course! This is known as White Bear Effect in psychology. So, don’t try so hard to forget your ex.

Time is a great healer. With time, thoughts of the ex will become fainter and they will become just passing thoughts. Then if you meet them in future, you will shake your head and ask yourself how it happened that you were once crazy about them.

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xoxo,
Lush